Friday, January 4, 2013

what to expect...

being a mother of two children under 4 makes me struggle to find a few minutes during the day i can call "me time". this blog was supposed to be THE place for me when i do find the time, but as you can see i rarely visit it. having another blog which is as old as this one but far more personal might be a distraction, but i'm still not brave enough to go public with my family stories, news and photos. actually no one knows about my space here, yet.

i wanted to write something for 2012 as a farewell to a year that was the best in many ways but also the worst in many more ways. so i simply had four words to address 2012 with: "good bye, thank you". As for the fresh baby-like 2013 the first thing that came to my mind was inspired by the books i got addicted to during the past 4 plus years... WHAT TO EXPECT... when you march into 2013...

my husband and i usually sit down for some reflection time at the beginning of each year to evaluate our past year's resolutions and goals... we keep a record of older years too which is embarrassing but surprisingly enough not frustrating when we see that we keep dragging some goals from one year into the other without quite managing to accomplish them...

we haven't set a time for this practice in 2013 so i still have a chance to check our family book one last time and add in some new points i'd like us to discuss at the beginning of 2013.

what do i really expect of this new year? Expecting is a risky business because unlike planning it lacks a realistic base and a "road map" but it has a nicer flavor and aroma than planning so why not plan AND expect... bake a cake AND prepare a yummy icing for it?

on a personal level i expect myself to be more disciplined, once this gets fixed then hopefully it will cause a chain reaction leading to fixing many other closely related things. i'd like to be more in control of my time, because when i don't then the hours slip between my fingers like sea water that i try to desperately hold in my palms. as much as i love mamahood, i don't want to completely disappear in the process of raising children, i still want to have my own being, color, taste, and presence for others and me to enjoy, instead of gradually being sucked into everyday (sometimes everyminute) demands and needs of my family. there's a growing list in my mind of books-to-read, i'd love to go back to playing my long-abandoned flute, and i want to live for a purpose which is bigger than me finding more meaning in my life and spreading more of God's love around as i grow more into owe of him in the gigantic as well as microscopic bits of my life.

on a global level i wish for more peace and less bloodshed in the MENA region this year, so it's more of a MENA wish than a global one, but this area is as old as history and as beautiful and rich as can be with its natural beauty, it's culture, it's people, and i have to mention its food too. the so called "Arab Spring" has brought more destruction than democracy, more hatred than hope, and more fire than freedom.

as for my small family, my wish is for us to appreciate each other more every day and cherish the time we have together celebrating our differences and the rich personalities each of us have, to grow more in love with one another never seizing to give thanks to God for the endless blessings he keeps showering us with.

p.s. in this cartoon by Habib Haddad, it's written Happy New Year in Arabic next to 2013

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